Sis

Sis was over the night before last to give me another treatment. I only believe in the hocus pocus of her treatments because they seem to work. I couldn't take either of my diabetes medicines without serious side effects, to the point where I had to stop taking one of them as it was preventing me from sleeping, but after her treatment I have been able to take as many as I need to without any unpleasant results. Now it also seems that she has rid me of my allergy to ginger, which has plagued me for two decades, and maybe lesser ones I didn't know about.

Her treatments require testing first: which means me holding a vial of some substance against my right arm while she tries to pry apart the tips of my thumb and ring finger of my right hand with her thumbs. When I touch something to my arm that I am allergic to, my body senses its magnetic energy and my fingers weaken. If I am not allergic to it they stay strong. Then she puts the substances she is treating me for on a scale-like device that senses their magnetic energies. The sensor is connected to electrodes that she places in turn at certain acupuncture points on my feet, thighs, face and sides of my chest. The electrodes emit the slightest electric current that reprograms my brain into thinking that these substances I have been allergic to are no threat. After the 15 minute treatment my reaction to them is gone. She warns me that sometimes I will have a reaction, perhaps nausea or a weakness for a couple days, and perhaps the treatment will need to be repeated, but neither situation has happened.

The big threat seems to be vaccines which are both powerful and dangerous. She tells me that polio and diphtheria vaccines are suspected to cause rheumatoid arthritis, fiber myalgia and other chronic diseases later in life. In the late 80s, a couple years before developing the first signs of muscular dystrophy, I was vaccinated for hepatitis A and B. Tuesday she brought me vials of both vaccines and I reacted to both, indicating that they have been causing a problem for my body for some time. She treated me for both that night. She was very excited and even relieved that I reacted to them. She thinks her treatment could be the first stepping stone to my recovery.

I take her treatments like an unsculptured block, expecting nothing and feeling detached to what my body in being put through. The last thing I want is to become hopeful and impatient for improvement, which only causes me a lot of emotional torment.

Sis, my brother Rob and Mom are less aware of the dangers of hoping and indulge themselves liberally. Mom even made a comment to me the other day that she expects me to improve soon. I take this as a sign of their love, but not of their wisdom. I hate it when others tell me "You can't give up hope!". Hope is the first thing one should give up. It is impossible to accept one's situation if one is always hoping to be some place better. It is impossible to live for the present moment when one is focused on the future.

Though some unpleasant allergies have disappeared from my life my muscle strength has certainly not improved in the past half year. My walking is definitely pretty shaky at best and the day is too fast approaching when I will no longer be able to walk any reasonable distance. Perhaps Sis is right, that this treatment will stop the dystrophy. It would be wonderful, even ecstatic, to feel a turn around for the better after deteriorating for so long, but for now I cannot even imagine it. My disability has become a big part of me and my old self seems as surreal as a half-remembered dream.


"Hope is the worst of all evils for it prolongs the torment of man." - Frederick Nietzsche