Breitenbush - Summer '09: the good

One Fae I know described the 200-man summer gathering at Breitenbush Hot Springs as a forum for self-actualization. It is, but it's much more than that too. It is the only place where for 4 days I let go of my focus on my disability, when I am never short of love and affection, a spiritual bath more than a physical one.

It started well. I convinced my two companions on the way down to take the back road through the mountains to arrive from the north instead of spending longer on the freeway and approaching from the west. It is a bit longer but much prettier route. Most drivers prefer the slightly faster and duller route but of course I don't share the driving since I don't have a license.

I got a room in the lodge as usual, but not to myself. My old friend Ssssnake, an American in his 70s who failed to pass the Canadian immigration tests last year, was my roommate. He needed to move into the lodge because of his angina. He snored like a lawn mower and took most of the double bed but I managed to sleep well except for the final night.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it to the meadow pools (there's only one I frequent) and get in and out without assistance but I set out alone early the first morning and managed it fine. I returned 3 more times in the next 2 days and quite enjoyed it.

There were no romantic opportunities for me this time. Two beautiful first-time Faes, Dennis Dion from Vancouver and 'Chaparrel' from Los Angeles caught my eye, just as they caught dozens of others. 'Possum' was there in his visit since his release from prison for possession of child porn. I felt so angry that such a beautiful man was punished so severely for nothing other than possessing images. The "crimes" he confessed to, such as sexual addiction, are not illegal and he wasn't using the images to hunt children or even to get off with. He just used them as role playing props to attract older men. Now he has been permanently been branded a felon and unable to even visit Canada or have e-mail. He must also confess to his parole officer when he has sex of any kind.

I attended 3 of the 4 morning Heart Circles and totally loved them. I wasn't drawn to share until the last morning. In fact, as I shared with the room, I hated to take up time when I could hear what other heart opening sharings others had to offer. I always feel much closer to those who have shared.

Of the 200+ men at the gathering I probably knew almost 150 by the end of the weekend, having known almost 100 at the start. I am not the shy wall flower I was in my first 2 summer gatherings. It wasn't as fiercely hot or fly-infested as last summer and this year, after my sister's holistic allergy treatment for ginger, I was able to enjoy all the food without getting sick. I felt more "at home" than ever and more loved and appreciated too. Not sure I want to try a winter gathering in February again, but I am considering it.