Homeless death

Tuesday morning, 3 days ago, I stopped by the 7-11 convenience store to buy bus tickets. A pleasant but weathered older homeless woman stood by the door greeting people as the entered and left with a donation jar in her hand. Though I usually refuse to give to the many beggars in our streets, often more than one each block, I gave her a dollar. In weather like this I knew she would need it.

This morning at 4:30 am she died. She had tried to build a shelter in a shopping cart, wrapping herself up tightly against the -12C cold and trying to use some candles she had found to stay warm. The candles caught fire and that was the end of her. Another homeless man ran into Blenz Coffee a block and a half down the street, the only establishment open in our neighbourhood at that hour, screaming that someone was on fire. But the staff had already been dealing with a few incidents of screaming homeless people earlier that evening so they ignored his pleas for a few minutes until another person saw the flames.

I slept through it all the ensuing police, ambulance and fire alarms, quite accustomed to the sound sirens and of homeless cat fights on the street below. The retaining wall pictured above is part of the commercial section of the property I live at. The steep sidewalk and ramp onto Hornby St in front of the foreground are still covered with a layer of ice making me treacherous to go there.

I am holed up in my condo above the shopping cart, having phoned in sick again, unable to keep warm under my many layers of clothes. It is 1pm. My co-workers have just left for the annual Christmas lunch. Yesterday my Team Leader met with me to discuss his discomfort with me calling into to say I cannot safely make it into work when I am not sick. I have fallen 3 times in the past 10 weeks when there was no snow and I have broken ribs and my right leg on previous falls. I have narrowly avoided falls a couple times this week because he feels I should make an effort, even when that puts my well-being at risk. He also had monitored a call and had a few negative comments to share. His comments are always negative, never encouragement, support or praise. I have no heart for my job these days but I still need it. I'd have no home without it. Perhaps I'd be smoldering in a shopping cart below.

How can one keep a positive attitude and his sense of humour of days like this?