Chat lines

I am effort to put myself more "out there" for making new social contacts, such as friends and potential dates, I have tried frequenting gay.com over the past two months. I cannot yet say anything good has come out of it, but I can certainly say lots of bad things have.

The very limited number I have met through the lines have all been either frauds, freaks or con artists, but usually it never gets anywhere close to that. The first step is to make contact, which either involves lying in wake awaiting for a prey to bite, like a tarantula or a venus fly trap, hoping that someone will IM (instant message) me to start a conversation, or by taking the rejection risk of inviting others to partake in a conversation.

One can grow moldy waiting for the first option to happen. I have learned that of 100 people signed in, 90 may be away from their computers or have the chat line running in the background while they do other work all day. Some, for some unknown reason, even leave it on after they have gone to sleep, though it could be said many signed on are permanently in a state of sleep.

The second method is definitely harder on the ego, especially if you don't have a headless naked torso shot of a defined hard physique and are under the age of 32. 95% of my attempts to strike up a chat fall on infertile ground. Most (80%) don't bother to reply at all. Some will reply with the standard tit-for-tat pat introduction phrases (or single 'words' in some cases) that can have very extended gaps between replies. They usually fall silent after 3 to 6 exchanges, rarely revealing anything real about the person I was talking to.

A few others actually start a real conversation about art, travel, or life problems, something beyond just an interview for their next sexual or marital experience. Some of them take my phone number or give me theirs, though they never call and are not there when I do. One from Colombia even talked to me for two hours, over which time we agreed we were mutually attracted, had many similar interests, were likely sexually compatible and had similar emotional needs. The next day though, after making me promise to meet on line again, he told me he wasn't interested in any kind of on-line dating, which I quickly agreed to, and then proceeded to block my responses using a setting that makes his presence invisible to me. Only 3 calls have led to a meeting, all very dead end and regrettable, but never has it led to a possible friendship.

I have 3 remote possibilities which have not yet crashed and burned; one an intelligent Thai guy who chats between serving customers in a hotel in Penticton, another a local fellow into yoga who is mildly interested in chatting but is always multi-tasking as we do, and a young lanky blond fellow (31) in New Westminster who I just contacted two days ago.

I always feel like apologizing for being 55, almost a sin on the chat lines if you initiate a conversation, though I hate setting myself up in a beggar situation. I am not desperate and am actually NOT hunting for a fuck. I am one of very few (less than 10%) who actually have taken the time to write a profile describing themselves and/or what they are looking for. I am getting exasperated by my frustrated efforts.

I suppose, as a generalization, chat lines are no more intended for chatting than bath houses are for bathing.