Today I will have my chance with Gregory. Brian is taking the car to scout out sites around the island and Gregory has chosen to spend the day on the beach with me instead. At breakfast he asks what I plan to do today. Nothing much, I say. Writing letters on the beach I suppose. Do you mind it I go with you, he asks. Not at all.
Brian seems detached and happy to be on his own. I am not sure if they have had some sort of disagreement but they seem cool to each other this morning. If so, perhaps I will learn more about the situation as the day unfolds. I am secretly elated that Gregory and I have the day alone together. We walk down to Ermones with our towels and reading material in our knapsacks and we buy food and drinks to take with us in the town.
Yesterday, I found out that there are secluded beaches nearby accessible only by boat, and that row boats can be rented for a reasonable price in Ermones. I suggest to Gregory that we share the cost of a boat to reach one of them where there will be no children. And hopefully no one else, I wish to myself. Gregory does the rowing on the way there. It is a bit tricky as there is a wind today and the waves are rolling and smashing against the rocks of the headland. For a few minutes I fear we have made a mistake to try this but once we find a sheltered bay the landing is quite easy.
The beach we find is small, only 30 metres long, rocky and at the base of a cliff. We are not alone, but I don’t want to suggest moving on as it took half an hour to get here and he is tired. We lay out our towels on the gravel we find, using our bags and rocks as head rests. I lie on my side to write more postcards, keeping the news more about Greece and Italy to avoid getting sucked into my emotions again. He lies on his back and drifts off into a state of semi-sleep.
It is hard to concentrate with him lying next to me mostly naked. He is handsome, dark-haired and showing signs of early balding. He has a nice build with a small V of hair on his upper chest. I haven’t seen him without his shorts on before. His black bathing suit makes the size of his bulge less obvious unless you look right at it. I’m looking right at it. He’s a shower, not a grower. At first I think he has a hard-on because of its size. I wonder if he wants me to see it and is just pretending to be asleep, or if he’s dreaming of some hot situation. But his cock doesn’t flex or shrink over time so I realize this is its normal state of rest. Impressive!
He hears me take a picture of him and asks what I am doing. I apologize for waking him and explain I just like having pictures of people I spend time with along the way. The wind has come up and clouds have moved in. He wonders if we should leave. They might clear again, I suggest, hoping to keep him here a bit longer. We begin talking about travel and work. He works in an insurance company as an underwriter, but they are perpetually short-staffed and demanding. He has no interest in ‘exploring’ like I do on vacation. He only wants to lie around and decompress.
He probably prefers that I wasn’t talking to him, I think. I ask if Brian is just a colleague or more than that. We’re friends, he replies. You’re not a couple then? I ask. A couple? he questions me. I was just wondering if you are a gay couple or just friends. What makes you ask that? he asks. I was just wondering – please don’t be offended.
I am not sure if he is but me asking certainly hasn’t opened any doors. A few minutes later he says he wants to return to Ermones. He doesn’t ask what I want to do. It could be chilly wind but I feel my question probably has had something to do with his decision. It is my turn to do the rowing on the way back. The waves are bigger and it’s hard work. It feels like an appropriate penance for my miscalculation.
After returning the boat. We head up the gravel path into Ermones. Nikos is coming the other way on his scooter. He stops to let us pass, but hisses at me in a blatantly unfriendly manner. He decides not to wait for us, but loses his sandal as he tries three times to start the bike again. It slides down the hill and stops at my feet. I pick it up and hand it to him, but only far enough so he has to reach for it. Now he is blushing because I have helped him in spite of his unpleasant greeting. He takes off without looking at me.
What was that all about, Gregory asks. I don’t know, I answer truthfully. I suspect it has to do with bigotry and homophobia in young Nikos’ mind, but that’s only speculation. It is better not to go into it, to play ignorant to both of them. In my heart, I know I have done nothing intentional to offend either one of them. It is their choice to feel offended, if in fact they do.
I ask Gregory what he and Brian are doing for dinner. Brian isn’t back yet so he doesn’t know, or perhaps he doesn’t want to tell me. I will never know, but I get the impression he has had enough of me. I pretend not to notice. They do not arrive at the dining room at their usual time and I do not see them again this evening.
I appreciate the experience of doing something different by renting the boat, but the day has only increased my sense of isolation and not fitting in. It is time to move on. I spend the evening writing postcards until the last of my cards from Baska are gone. I take a walk to Parelia to mail them before bed.
PHOTO 1: above Ermones Beach
PHOTO 2: white cliffs near Ermones
PHOTO 3: our secluded beach
PHOTO 4: Gregory
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