Christmas cheer

There's nothing like Christmas to bring out the best in people, like exhausted, belligerent shoppers pushing others out of their way while cursing their seasonal obligations. Families can be the worst, regressing to long-past problematic issues of resentment, guilt, power and self-pity.

I usually try to get the messiness of the season out of the way as soon as possible. I had all my Christmas shopping and my gift parcels for off to Ontario a week ago and my Christmas cards to friends a few days later. I gave my sister her gifts when she came over on Wednesday to give me another of her holistic allergy treatments. She wasn't pleased as she has no money to spend on gifts. I haven't had anything from her for at least 5 or 6 years and haven't given her anything in that period either. For a few years we weren't even talking.

I emailed my brother Rob to tell him the parcels were coming and got a reply that he hoped I hadn't spent any monies on his family. My other brother and mother will be even worse. Unlike any previous year, Rob and my sister have been very supportive and involved in trying to find a treatment or cure for my muscular dystrophy and I just wanted to give. It is my way of celebrating a good year and giving gives me a high.

In past years my siblings used the approach that Christmas was just for the kids, and as I was the only one without kids, it was often a one-way street. Until the past couple years, I rarely got an e-mail thanking me. Sometimes I got a phone call, piggybacked on my mother's phone bill while they were visiting her. But, as I said, it has been a much better year than usual between us and I wanted to give. Given that they had mentioned anything to me about not giving gifts this year, as they usually do by this point, and that the deadline for sending gifts through the post was quickly approaching, I bought gifts and mailed them. Let them squirm with discomfort if they choose. It's done and for me Christmas is virtually over.

But not for others. Today I joined a line-up at the post office to send a paperback to a friend in Colorado. The line wasn't moving. When I paused to look at BC calendars that were on sale beside me, an Englishman tried to push in front of me. When I politely pointed out that he had jumped in front of me he told me to make up my mind whether I was shopping or lining up. He grabbed my shoulder and tried to shove me in front of him, almost causing me to lose my balance. I warned him not to touch me, that I have a disability and can lose my balance easily.

He claimed, with an air of self-righteousness that he had a disability too. Well, I'm not grabbing or shoving you, am I, I replied. A fountain of insults flowed out of his mouth and I wished him "Merry Christmas, Fuckhead". That only escalated his verbal attack. There was such a tone of superiority and hatred in his words that I finally retorted "You're a Christian, aren't you?" He was taken aback for a moment and then replied "So what are you?" "Not what you are!"

He then switched into the self-righteous veteran mode, raising his voice to say he had served this country and put his line on the line for it but he was sure I hadn't. I'm going on 56 and don't tolerate arrogant assholes thinking they they have license to say anything because they are older. "Judging by your accent, you're not from this country," was my icy response, the only words I knew that might shut him up. It didn't shut him up immediately but it worked. I didn't look at him or respond again. Older English are the only immigrants I know of who feel superior to the locals and I never mind telling them what I think when they act this way. I'm not sure what the others in line-up felt about our exchange but I'm sure it didn't improve their day either.