Winter has been here since Saturday. Everything f*kkin thing in my place is cold, the floors, counters, bedclothes.... even my butter is hard. A full month before the winter solstice it hits -17C with the wind chill and -10C without. It's only getting down to -4 tonight but it is supposed to snow overnight and part of tomorrow. Somehow I am going to make it through this blasted winter, forecast to be the worst ever on record. I feel like I'll be holding my breath underwater for 3 months, but what choice do I have.
I mentioned my apprehension about the snow tomorrow to Sandra W, my former team leader at work. She said, "Stay home, don't risk it. You have lots of sick time." It felt great to get her support as she's the most respected T/L in the call centre, but how did she know that I have so much sick time. I think the T/Ls talk about us behind our backs. At least it seems they say good things about me.
I have to come in on Friday though. Wanda's retirement ceremony will be held after work. She has always been my favourite call centre manager, having been the one who rescued me from the corrupt EI office politics before they could terminate my contract. I have made an 18" diameter circle of fiords, mountains, a lone cedar on a bluff and a sailboat below, a dogwood branch with two flowers on it across the top that will be presented to her at the ceremony. I hate the attention but it has cemented my good image with our administration, especially for Sandra. Suzanne D liked it too, and wants one like it for her husband for Christmas. Hers won't be for free.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Claude
One of the delayed bonuses of the VIFF has turned out to be Claude Gadoua, a former Quebecois gay man who lives about 4 blocks away. We met in the early morning line-up for tickets twice, when for coffee once and sat beside each other through two films. It was immediately clear there was an intellectual connection and a real interest on his part. He immediately looked up the website for my stained glass art and asked me a plethora of questions about my muscular dystrophy. Later, he went on line to do a little research about my condition too.
There was a two week gap after the festival where we didn't see each other because he was out of town a couple days and entertaining out of town guests. I had my own couch surfer, young Nicolas from Switzerland. But we agreed on going out for dinner last Friday night, the 29th. He came over to get a tour of my place and then we had dinner in Lickerish, a restaurant attached to my building.
I had not entertained any fantasies about a romantic entanglement with him, having learned from past experience that even men who are attracted to me are fatally repulsed by my disability, though I consider myself more awkward than ugly. Furthermore, Claude is two years older than me when I usually am drawn to younger men, he smokes cigarettes and has a fairly heavy beard. In his case, these traits do not turn me off. I find him "charmant".
At that first dinner it was he who broached the subject of something more intimate. Without discussing it with me first, he told some of his closest friends that they might expect me to part of his life in the future. He briefed them about my physical issues to prepare them. I guess I am used to this by now, almost. Over our meal, he asked me about my sexual abilities, given my other limitations, and wanted to know more about what I like in bed. I was a bit vague as I like to accommodate my lover's preferences. He is apparently more cuddly than volcanic, as Gerald Hannon would have put it.
Sunday we met again for brunch and then he brought me to his place to show me his passion, beading strings as one would see in a bead curtain, but he had hundreds of them. He is obviously a meticulous man and he is also fascinated with Tibetan culture and art, having visited with a Tibetan friend a few years ago. He inundated me with information to the point I hard a hard time taking it all in. It was very clear he is concerned not to turn me off for being too coddling or dismissive about offering me support when I need it. He wants to be a supporter in many ways, including offering to help me make the 80 pendants for the BC Faerie Gathering for next May.
I tried to be affectionate at a couple points, as all his talking seemed partially like a defense. He reciprocated a bit and even called me passionate, but I am not really passionate. I cannot quite believe someone is really interested in me, but I am being careful not to be protective or too interested. Truthfully, it will take time and a sustained interest in me to let it all sink in as it has been literally years since anyone has expressed an interest in being my boyfriend. Time will tell how it will unfold and I am willing to accept whatever happens. It is a bit overwhelming for the moment and I have appreciated the past two days of rest apart.
There was a two week gap after the festival where we didn't see each other because he was out of town a couple days and entertaining out of town guests. I had my own couch surfer, young Nicolas from Switzerland. But we agreed on going out for dinner last Friday night, the 29th. He came over to get a tour of my place and then we had dinner in Lickerish, a restaurant attached to my building.
I had not entertained any fantasies about a romantic entanglement with him, having learned from past experience that even men who are attracted to me are fatally repulsed by my disability, though I consider myself more awkward than ugly. Furthermore, Claude is two years older than me when I usually am drawn to younger men, he smokes cigarettes and has a fairly heavy beard. In his case, these traits do not turn me off. I find him "charmant".
At that first dinner it was he who broached the subject of something more intimate. Without discussing it with me first, he told some of his closest friends that they might expect me to part of his life in the future. He briefed them about my physical issues to prepare them. I guess I am used to this by now, almost. Over our meal, he asked me about my sexual abilities, given my other limitations, and wanted to know more about what I like in bed. I was a bit vague as I like to accommodate my lover's preferences. He is apparently more cuddly than volcanic, as Gerald Hannon would have put it.
Sunday we met again for brunch and then he brought me to his place to show me his passion, beading strings as one would see in a bead curtain, but he had hundreds of them. He is obviously a meticulous man and he is also fascinated with Tibetan culture and art, having visited with a Tibetan friend a few years ago. He inundated me with information to the point I hard a hard time taking it all in. It was very clear he is concerned not to turn me off for being too coddling or dismissive about offering me support when I need it. He wants to be a supporter in many ways, including offering to help me make the 80 pendants for the BC Faerie Gathering for next May.
I tried to be affectionate at a couple points, as all his talking seemed partially like a defense. He reciprocated a bit and even called me passionate, but I am not really passionate. I cannot quite believe someone is really interested in me, but I am being careful not to be protective or too interested. Truthfully, it will take time and a sustained interest in me to let it all sink in as it has been literally years since anyone has expressed an interest in being my boyfriend. Time will tell how it will unfold and I am willing to accept whatever happens. It is a bit overwhelming for the moment and I have appreciated the past two days of rest apart.
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