Pride weekend will be fabulous this year! It's sunny and warm with occasional cloud cover for relief. Milestones renovated last year, reducing the size of its balcony. That means Aunty Tinkerbell only got 4 seats on the reduced patio this year, enough for Peter, Michael & Scott from Calgary and himself. So for the first time in 5 years or so I am without plans.
Flash and Doozer will be coming in from Galiano Island late this evening, around 10, after Doozer finishes his shift at the restaurant and Flash has closed his table at the farmers' market. I'm looking forward to that. Neither of them has stayed with me since May 2008, a week after we returned from Tennessee, and I haven't even seen Doozer since then, although we have exchanged some great emails.
My oldest friend Larry was hoping to come into town from the Sunshine Coast today too, but mainly to link up with a friend visiting from the US. He was to share my bed, which I had mixed feelings about because it is already warm and he snores. Last night I got his phone message saying his friend would only be in town today so he decided not to make the trip into town. I sigh a sigh of relief.
Doozer will head home after the parade as he has to work Monday, so his visit will be short and hopefully sweet. Flash will stick around to Tuesday morning. Cayenne is arriving from the airport sometime after 3pm Monday and will stay the night. That puts me in a bit of an awkward situation as Flash refuses to sleep with me (doesn't trust the old troll), which required me to ask Cayenne, who barely knows me, to share my bed Monday night. That could be interesting, although he has warned me that he snores. Perhaps he will make it up to me in other ways.
I am still not at my best. After an evening of conversation and frivolity at Kal's Thursday night where I consumed more than 3 glasses of wine, my insides have been in havoc. He wanted his 5 visitors including myself over right after work. We began drinking without dinner--just spicy, greasy potato chips to munch on. I brought along some frozen mini-quiches and sausage rolls, a pie wedge of brie cheese and some wasabi dried peas to add to "dinner". Besides getting a bit drunk (Kal walked me home the 3 blocks to ensure I didn't end up in Emergency) the wine caused a huge acid reflex in me that kept me awake most of the night. The next morning I was sick, a disgusting flow of rancid diarrhea, and I couldn't stomach food.
I still can't seem to as everything I eat rekindles the acid reflex. Today my intake will consist of plain yogurt, Immodium and Rolaids. I have two loads of laundry underway.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Evelina & Rick
I have two couch surfers arriving any minute: Evelina Chen from Indonesia and her travel companion, an American named Rick. They were scheduled to arrive tomorrow night but I got an e-mail message asking me at the last minute if they could arrive tonight instead.
Evelina has had a series of courageous and widespread adventures in various parts of North America, including many of the parks in the American SW and looks like an interesting person to meet, but all of a sudden several red flags are coming up.
If finding a hotel might cost them hundreds of dollars in the peak season, why wouldn't they invest in a couple dollars to call me to confirm it would be OK, and who would be so inconsiderate to ask for such a last minute change without even apologizing for the inconvenience that might cause their host, especially since they'd be arriving in the later evening.
They didn't get my prompt reply to say it would be OK, so they send me a phone message when they knew I'd be at work today asking me to text them at Rick's work phone, which they failed to check. Finally they called me at home an hour or so ago from Burnaby, about half an hour away, but they had to drop someone off. Evelina asked if I go to bed early. I foolishly said by 11:30 or so, instead of 10, so they might not bother to show up until then. I obviously won't have much time to talk to them before bed, before trusting them with the keys to my place. Tomorrow night may be the only chance I get to spend time with them, if they make themselves available.
Hmmm. I hope I won't regret offering accommodation to them. The last couch surfer, an older gay American named Alan Hatch, stood me up without bothering to call or e-mail. I didn't give him a negative reference because, frankly, I was glad he didn't show up. I wasn't in the mood and perhaps the Universe was giving me the space I needed.
Evelina has had a series of courageous and widespread adventures in various parts of North America, including many of the parks in the American SW and looks like an interesting person to meet, but all of a sudden several red flags are coming up.
If finding a hotel might cost them hundreds of dollars in the peak season, why wouldn't they invest in a couple dollars to call me to confirm it would be OK, and who would be so inconsiderate to ask for such a last minute change without even apologizing for the inconvenience that might cause their host, especially since they'd be arriving in the later evening.
They didn't get my prompt reply to say it would be OK, so they send me a phone message when they knew I'd be at work today asking me to text them at Rick's work phone, which they failed to check. Finally they called me at home an hour or so ago from Burnaby, about half an hour away, but they had to drop someone off. Evelina asked if I go to bed early. I foolishly said by 11:30 or so, instead of 10, so they might not bother to show up until then. I obviously won't have much time to talk to them before bed, before trusting them with the keys to my place. Tomorrow night may be the only chance I get to spend time with them, if they make themselves available.
Hmmm. I hope I won't regret offering accommodation to them. The last couch surfer, an older gay American named Alan Hatch, stood me up without bothering to call or e-mail. I didn't give him a negative reference because, frankly, I was glad he didn't show up. I wasn't in the mood and perhaps the Universe was giving me the space I needed.
A Penney for my thoughts....
I am in lust, or longing, or whatever you call it. His name is Craig and we met on Halloween 2008. He's a friend of my friend Kal. He was dressed as a cowboy and I was instantly fascinated, but he was somewhat hung up on Kal, who was newly out and oozing freedom hormones. Kal fortunately didn't feel the same way about Craig, but I figured I had no chance given the circumstances.
I would see Craig sometimes on weekends at the Fountainhead Pub, a frequent hang out of mine. He would come in from New Westminster, where he lives, if Kal would be there, and Kal, a social butterfly, always had a circle of friends around him. Craig, on the other hand, was rather shy by comparison and felt more comfortable speaking only to those he knew so it wasn't easy in all the noise to get to know him. The circle of friends, outside of Kal and Craig, made no effort to include me when I tried to join them so I usually kept my distance.
Times changed. Kal met the love of his life and totally settled down. Craig gave up on winning him over and came in less often, but he kept in touch with Kal and Kal always updated me on what and how Craig was doing. Neither of them really knew how attracted I was to Craig.
A few months ago I saw Craig sitting with his group of drinking friends as I was on my way out, and I stopped to say hello. I placed my arm around his shoulders as I chatted with him. It felt wonderful and he seemed to soak it up, but I left after a few minutes so not to have my affection appear to be a cheap come on. The next day he asked Kal to arrange a time to bring him over to see my art. Kal told about his request but never followed through.
I was amazingly patient and waited for him to call me. Two weeks ago he was on my mind a lot, and the next day Kal told me Craig had called him to ask him again to arrange a visit to come see me. It was terribly old fashioned but totally charming. After prodding Kal a couple times he finally sent me Craig's e-mail and I invited him to come over myself.
That was a week ago. He didn't come over because he was in the last minute rush to get things ready for his trip to the Maritimes where he's presently visiting three elderly aunts on Cape Breton and Newfoundland. Before he left, he did respond to me, saying he's like to be a closer friend, and in a series of messages over the next 3 days we confessed wanting to take it much further than just being friends.
He won't be back in town until August 6th, and we will both be busy much of the rest of the month. He'll be camping and I'll be taking in the Queer Film Festival and going to Breitenbush for 5 days, I hope. In September Brian and Dean are visiting for a week and then Nina Spadtke is returning from Germany at the end of the month. Then I'll have 16 days at the Vancouver International Film Festival. There won't be much time for dating for either of us so nothing is likely to happen too quickly.
But then again, an awful lot happened over a couple days just with e-mails. It felt like a Copernicus shift, when instead of the sun going around the world it's the other way around. I have lost interest in the chat lines and any faint glimmers of hope that were still smoldering (mostly illusions and there haven't been many). Neither of us have dated since the last millennium so it should be interesting. He is well aware of my disability and sees beyond that to something more beautiful, which isn't easy to get to with another gay man. But I still cannot quite believe that anything will ever happen. I am too defensive to go there yet, which is probably the true source of my incredible patience. But wouldn't it be wonderful....
I would see Craig sometimes on weekends at the Fountainhead Pub, a frequent hang out of mine. He would come in from New Westminster, where he lives, if Kal would be there, and Kal, a social butterfly, always had a circle of friends around him. Craig, on the other hand, was rather shy by comparison and felt more comfortable speaking only to those he knew so it wasn't easy in all the noise to get to know him. The circle of friends, outside of Kal and Craig, made no effort to include me when I tried to join them so I usually kept my distance.
Times changed. Kal met the love of his life and totally settled down. Craig gave up on winning him over and came in less often, but he kept in touch with Kal and Kal always updated me on what and how Craig was doing. Neither of them really knew how attracted I was to Craig.
A few months ago I saw Craig sitting with his group of drinking friends as I was on my way out, and I stopped to say hello. I placed my arm around his shoulders as I chatted with him. It felt wonderful and he seemed to soak it up, but I left after a few minutes so not to have my affection appear to be a cheap come on. The next day he asked Kal to arrange a time to bring him over to see my art. Kal told about his request but never followed through.
I was amazingly patient and waited for him to call me. Two weeks ago he was on my mind a lot, and the next day Kal told me Craig had called him to ask him again to arrange a visit to come see me. It was terribly old fashioned but totally charming. After prodding Kal a couple times he finally sent me Craig's e-mail and I invited him to come over myself.
That was a week ago. He didn't come over because he was in the last minute rush to get things ready for his trip to the Maritimes where he's presently visiting three elderly aunts on Cape Breton and Newfoundland. Before he left, he did respond to me, saying he's like to be a closer friend, and in a series of messages over the next 3 days we confessed wanting to take it much further than just being friends.
He won't be back in town until August 6th, and we will both be busy much of the rest of the month. He'll be camping and I'll be taking in the Queer Film Festival and going to Breitenbush for 5 days, I hope. In September Brian and Dean are visiting for a week and then Nina Spadtke is returning from Germany at the end of the month. Then I'll have 16 days at the Vancouver International Film Festival. There won't be much time for dating for either of us so nothing is likely to happen too quickly.
But then again, an awful lot happened over a couple days just with e-mails. It felt like a Copernicus shift, when instead of the sun going around the world it's the other way around. I have lost interest in the chat lines and any faint glimmers of hope that were still smoldering (mostly illusions and there haven't been many). Neither of us have dated since the last millennium so it should be interesting. He is well aware of my disability and sees beyond that to something more beautiful, which isn't easy to get to with another gay man. But I still cannot quite believe that anything will ever happen. I am too defensive to go there yet, which is probably the true source of my incredible patience. But wouldn't it be wonderful....
Saturday, July 10, 2010
a hazy, warm summer Saturday
Summer finally hit last Monday, a wall of sunshine and patches of cloud that will stretch until mid-to-late August, when our 6-week quota of warm weather dries up. It was a hottish week, temperature reaching 28C but the water and 33 inland. I've been low energy in the heat of my condo, falling asleep stretched out naked on top of my sheets and throwing one sheet over my legs in the middle of the night when the night air cools off.
Last night a thin layer of clouds came in, more a streaky haze than actual cloud. It has lowered the temperatures a little and made working on my glass work a definite possibility today. I went to bed late but woke up early, around 7, a filtered sunlight already streaking through the red-orange-gold-tan coloured abstract mosaic I put into my French doors that separate my bedroom from my workshop.
I was at Joe's Diner by 8:10 and on my way to Kona to buy more background glass for Yves' bamboo window. I am using Duncan "Rain", an elegant and expensive glue chip I am quite fond of but which Kona will soon stop restocking. I bought 4 sq ft just to have a little extra around. The half-hour bus ride to the store was pleasant but already getting warm. I am glad I got this done early. From the upper part of Knight St the blue, almost snow-free mountains don't look so wonderful through the warm brown haze. Still, the sunshine and warmth, accompanied by the early morning quiet and the promise of a full day ahead of me, put me in a positive and loving mood. I was thinking that if I had someone, it would be a perfect day for cuddling romantically in each others' arms.
But no such luck. I finally connected with Craig P after Kal forwarded his e-mail. It has been perhaps 5 months or more since I last saw him at the Fountainhead Pub. That last time I held his shoulders in a gentle, protective embrace as we chatted. He seemed very receptive to my touch and later suggested to Kal that he bring him to my place to see my glass. Months passed. For some strange reason I thought about him again the week before last and the next day Kal told me he had received an e-mail from him asking again when Kal would bring him over to my place. With a little reminder from me, Kal sent his e-mail and I contacted him directly to invite him to visit me.
Nothing has happened since then. Craig said he was probably coming downtown last night (he lives in New Westminster) but he didn't contact me. He hasn't yet phoned me or offered me his number. Ours will be an e-mail relationship for now, until he either decides to respond to my show of interest (which will probably not happen now that I have expressed it) or until we lose interest in the endless procrastination. He emailed me this morning to say he is off home to Newfoundland for his summer vacation very soon. The optimism of a new friendship has been moved to the back burner after only two days.
But there is always the glass and the writing inviting me to spend quality alone time with myself. I have only 47 pieces left on the bamboo window, most of which I hope to have done by this evening.
Last night a thin layer of clouds came in, more a streaky haze than actual cloud. It has lowered the temperatures a little and made working on my glass work a definite possibility today. I went to bed late but woke up early, around 7, a filtered sunlight already streaking through the red-orange-gold-tan coloured abstract mosaic I put into my French doors that separate my bedroom from my workshop.
I was at Joe's Diner by 8:10 and on my way to Kona to buy more background glass for Yves' bamboo window. I am using Duncan "Rain", an elegant and expensive glue chip I am quite fond of but which Kona will soon stop restocking. I bought 4 sq ft just to have a little extra around. The half-hour bus ride to the store was pleasant but already getting warm. I am glad I got this done early. From the upper part of Knight St the blue, almost snow-free mountains don't look so wonderful through the warm brown haze. Still, the sunshine and warmth, accompanied by the early morning quiet and the promise of a full day ahead of me, put me in a positive and loving mood. I was thinking that if I had someone, it would be a perfect day for cuddling romantically in each others' arms.
But no such luck. I finally connected with Craig P after Kal forwarded his e-mail. It has been perhaps 5 months or more since I last saw him at the Fountainhead Pub. That last time I held his shoulders in a gentle, protective embrace as we chatted. He seemed very receptive to my touch and later suggested to Kal that he bring him to my place to see my glass. Months passed. For some strange reason I thought about him again the week before last and the next day Kal told me he had received an e-mail from him asking again when Kal would bring him over to my place. With a little reminder from me, Kal sent his e-mail and I contacted him directly to invite him to visit me.
Nothing has happened since then. Craig said he was probably coming downtown last night (he lives in New Westminster) but he didn't contact me. He hasn't yet phoned me or offered me his number. Ours will be an e-mail relationship for now, until he either decides to respond to my show of interest (which will probably not happen now that I have expressed it) or until we lose interest in the endless procrastination. He emailed me this morning to say he is off home to Newfoundland for his summer vacation very soon. The optimism of a new friendship has been moved to the back burner after only two days.
But there is always the glass and the writing inviting me to spend quality alone time with myself. I have only 47 pieces left on the bamboo window, most of which I hope to have done by this evening.
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